Confession! Makes you cringe a bit I bet. Why would you want to share your issues with your loved one? Isn’t that what will break up the marriage? Well, it could. But what confession will do certainly is reveal what your marriage is built on. If it is on your illusion of a partner that is perfect…or near to it, then it will fail utterly, but if you already know your partner in this life is a sinner in need of a Savior, then you might just pull off an awesome marriage.
But don’t get me wrong, your foundation is everything as to which way the marriage will go after a confession. I have heard some pretty serious confessions over the years from marriatal couples, including my own! And I am always built up in my faith when I see those couples firmly ready for the trial ahead through they know it is going to be very, very difficult.
There are certainly relationship ideas we pick up living on the planet that stick to us unknowingly. This confession deal is one of them. We don’t think it is good. Especially in a relationship. Sharing with your girlfriend that you struggle with porn might not be a good starter at the dinner table (don’t do it! Wait until a better time!).
But we never do share. We are afraid more than likely. And afraid of what? Of the person we care about leaving us. Being alone again. It is a big risk to confess in many ways. We humans do not know how to handle weakness well. We value strength yet know instinctively that we are all so frail. But revealing the frailty is the challenge.
Paul, the apostle of Jesus wrote a book to the Corinthian Church on his own frailty. And Jesus through He is The King, because the servant to us all (Isaiah 53).
In a marriage, there is enough time with the other to see the flaws which they have. They become clear with time. This is the opportunity that we all have in marriage in serving the other; loving, caring, praying, encouraging, fortifying.
You both need to learn to battle sinful inclinations. And you need to do it together! Most couples look at trials as a hardship or a bummer, just wanting to get over it…raise your hands, praise the Lord etc.. etc… etc…. But oh how wrong that is. It makes for great religion, but horrible parenting! Your kids, teenagers need to see how parents battle sin. If you see it has a drag, they will too. If you see it as a bummer and can’t wait for the rainbow on the other side, they will too. You will teach them whether you like it or not; It is happening. But you might be very troubled to learn that you are not equipping them for the future. So it is important, even vital to realize that if you see confession and the battle against sin which follows in an ill way, you teach them contrary to the Word of God.
Consider it all joy when you go through various trials knowing that testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4
Confession certainly brings about a trial in our faith. Will we trust God as Soverign in our lives who knew this time in our lives? Whatever comes against us trusting God is an attack on our faith. And fear of a confession can be what comes against us in marriage! We would rather not hear it. But that is fear, not faith. Do I believe God is big enough to work on my spouses issues? There is a pain in hearing and giving a confession, but it can lead to a closer realtionship if brought to God with a united front.
If you are marriied, are you ok with your spouce knowing the area’s you are weak in? If not, why?
One other thought…Peter and I finished up a Better Pleasure podcast recently where we answered the question, “Why your spouse is not the best accountability partner.” I think you might want to check it out. The question is around the later part of the podcast, but hope you take the time to listen to the entire answer.