A love problem

The more I go on in life I realize that the number one problem that I have is a lack of love.  This reality speaks to me over and over, and brings me to my knees before God.  Does it you too?

I am blessed to officiate many weddings over my 20yr. pastorate.  During one section of the wedding I will read from 1st Corinthians chapter 13.

Love is patient, love is kind…it does not seek it’s own.

Oh, my heart suffers shipwreck when I read that later part!  “Love does not seek it’s own.”

This is wear my struggle against lustful desires comes to the light!  Porn lust seeks it’s own.  There has never been a time that I have sought porn out for the benefit of others.  Let me put this even more personal;  I never viewed pornography to benefit my family, wife, kids, parents, in laws, or friends.  Every single time it has been a selfish gratification.

There is no doubt that pornography  viewing and it’s self gratification has caused numerous pain, and yet though much attention has become the topic, the market for it continues to grow.  There is always the new generation that has not felt the gravity of it’s destruction plus the industry is incredibly technologically smart as to ways of getting into our homes!

Through cable, satellite, Xbox, Roku, Netflix, Hulu there are levels and ways for us to become tempted to search for more and more hard core material until we once again get back on the internet and search for the real deal.

In order to gain victory over such a vast army, we must learn of the greatness of Love and it’s betterment.  Without seeing love as a treasure, we will succumb to substitutes easily.

Can you see the fruits of the lack of love in your life?  Can it be that maybe you lust others and not love them?

My answers are yes & most certainly it can be that I have traded love for lust.  What a moral loss.

With every relationship that we have love becomes a question doesn’t it?  Do I continue to love them?  When is it ok to not love?

Getting to the root cause of our lust is a beautiful education.  I have not because I have asked not in so many relationships.  Ask for love!  That’s my prayer today.  Dad, I need your love, to love others.  For I know now more than ever that if I do not have his love, then I am left with my own version, which is really no love at all, but a lust to use others for my own prosperity.

In a broad sense this is the porn of love.  This love apart from God is a distorted love, as porn is a distortion of what sexual relationships are supposed to be about.  Whenever I choose lust over love, I have chosen porn.  Porn to me becomes an idiom.  When thinking of the word porn like this, there becomes a vivid, picture in my mind of what choosing lust is like.  And this doesn’t just go with sexual temptation, but every kind.  Eating, working out, sports, studying etc… all things can be done in a loving way or in a porn way.

And thinking this way does another thing as well;  I see all sins as choosing the lessor.  It’s all porn!

So one might be caught viewing porn on the computer, yet one might get caught eating Oreo cookies though there 50+lbs overweight.

Though I do acknowledge that sexual sin has a greater destructive nature in a relationship, I see the principle that lust is committed on both occasions, the porn viewer and the over eater.  Both have a problem with love.

Yet another might not even be into pornography yet is wrapped up is his own religious pride and uses it as a hammer to nail down those who are not so holy.  His religion is simply his self gratification.

Love does not seek it’s own at the expense of others.

The only way to love properly it would seem is to have another to focus on when thinking and relating to others.  And this is what the Bible gives us!  “Whatever you do, do to the glory of God!”  That’s it! I have the instruction of where I need to place my mind when relating to others.  So when I think of my wife, I re-focus on honoring God in how I treat her.  Same with my kids.  I do not do things for them for their sake, but for the honor of God’s sake I relate to them the way I do.  And so on.

For it to be Love there must be a focus, first on God, and His love for us, and then and only then are we able to see people and relate to people in a Biblical, “love does not seek it’s own, way.  I don’t think I could love people correctly (Biblically) if I did not understand love; Could I?

By now I believe we all would say we have a love problem, and the remedy is growing our knowledge of God’s love.  This understanding would help us not to judge wrongly especially in a marriage when both people need desperately to develop a better understanding and implementing of the Love of God.  If this would happen, then mercy would be much more prevalent in marriages.  For without mercy there can be no restoration, no grace.

Another thought is this; Is there a time where we are not to love our spouses, family, kids, etc…?

When can love cease?

I am told God’s loving mercy for me never ceases!  Oh, wow, how blessed I am to hear that!  I need that kind of mercy for sure.  Do you?

The never ending love of God compels me to continue to fight the desires that want to go astray daily!  When I fall, this love moves me to get back up.  It is a love filled with mercy and long-suffering or patience.

For some of you the desires might be fighting porn daily, as I have for a long time.  But over the time of fighting I have found underneath that pornography battle was a greater battle.  It was the battle of whether to love or not.

I am in that fight today, are you?