A good question came up about confession in our Setting Captives Free meeting that I would want to share. All of our situations are so different, some are married, others are single parents, and still others have never been married. So the question comes up with who and when should you confess.
I find the a couple answers that could help. One deals with the who should I confess too.
Matthew 5
“Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, GO
1st Thess 4:3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister
Ok, let’s follow the Spirit of the law now. Make matters right, especially to the offended party. Sure our sin is against God ultimately (Psalm 32, 51), but it is true also that we have offended people in our sexual immorality too. Who is it that you have wronged? Your wife? Your girlfriend? Your children? Your parents? For me it was 3 out of the four I listed. In sexual sin (idolatry) I have followed a distorted view of sex, one that damages people around me. (That’s the consequence of sin) So when we are off getting a sex fix, our kids are by themselves, or we are not honoring our parents by our actions of being deceptive or lying. This should help you determine who you confess too. Who was it that you offended. Pray and then go to them.
The second questioned answered is when you should confess. I have found that for those in a marriage it is best to get it out in the open asap. If it going to be a real shock then you might want to have a counilor, Pastor, Leader available to sit with you both when you confess for comfort and perspective. For young kids I would say this…I was young when my father told me about his own failures as a parent and it made me happy to know that what I felt as a kid was valadated by my pop. What I mean is that when you are a kid you have feelings, but don’t know if there right or wrong, there just there. When my pop came up to me and my brother and said, “I was wrong,” that really put my mind at ease knowing it wasan’t my fault my parents didn’t get along or that they were not going to live together anymore. Sometimes confession needs to be in stages as well. Meaning as youi share your stuggles, you will share about what you are doing about it for help. The next time you talk there might be more that you share about what God is doing in your life etc…
The most important thing about confession is that it is for your benefit and joy and for the Glory of God. If those around us do not see that we are overjoyed in Christ to draw closer to a right relationship with God and with our fellow mankind then it will be hard for anyone to believe that we really mean what we say. It’s like having to do something vs. getting to do it! God is not glorified if you have to confess, but because you want more of Him, we confess. It certainly shows our weakness, but isn’t that the point…we need deliverance! Psalm 50:15