Category: Beau Ouellette

Before Discussing Porn

Posted on by RLAdmin

We live in a day where pornography is in constant news somewhere.  Currently there is the Presidents alleged past digression with a “Porn Star.”  I must say I do not like the term ‘porn star.’  To me there is no star in porn.  But that is my own thoughts, and I do understand why they use the term (They have there own awards annually).  Understanding what the word porn exactly means can be tough today.  As what was porn back in 1980 (playboy), is not really thought of as porn today by a teenager’s standard.  In talking with Jr. High kids in my city I will ask them if they think sexting is pornography.  The answer is usually, more often than not, a resounding NO!

There are obscenity laws that are on the books  to supposedly guide the country on the very issue of what is really porn or not.  Is porn obscenity?  If it were deemed so then I guess you might call a porn star an obscenity star too.  But that’s if they are seen as one and the same.  The reason I bring this up is because when we discuss porn with others (if at all) we tend to use porn as a generalized term to describe sex on film or picture (usually).  But the problem I find is this generic word, “porn,”  when used tends to steer our conversations away from what really matters in talking about sex, sexuality & sensuality.  Discussing these issues with a person properly means first listening, then understanding, but not simply being reactionary to the word porn.  Though this is tough to do for many!  When the word porn comes up in a talk with a parent and teen, or a husband and wife, just using the word porn in the conversation can hurt one deeply.  The word is a negative as obscene is, especially in serious conversation.

In Miller Vs. California (1973) the term obscenity was redefined from something that had no redeeming quality at all, to that which could potentially have some kind of scientific, literary, artistic or political value (but it is legally phrased as, “that which lacks,” those qualities.)  What would be obscene to me in Arizona would more than likely not be too obscene to those in New York, California or Las Vegas.  I for one do not see any scientific, artistic or political value in the watched or popular porn in the world.  But I understand this too;  Obviously not all porn is alike.  Just as there are different kinds or levels if you will of the obscene.  Over the years of my research on the subject, there is no doubt in my mind this is true.  I find it quite interesting when I read today of porn being a public health issue; for this reason:  What kind of porn are they referring to?  For many opponents of the industries existence this question is irrelevant, but for me it it one that we need to discuss.  Why?  Because understanding the kind of obscenity watched matters in our important conversations.

When finding porn on a teen or adults device, you had better be aware of the kind of porn that they are watching.  We all should realize that watching child pornography is different from watching consenting adults.  Another example is the difference there is between reading sexual fictional books and the sexual literature in the Bible.  Just because the topic of sex is brought up should not cause the same reaction from and in us.  We should be asking what kind of sex are we discussing?  What unites the examples i use is that all of them have a common denominator; sex.  But when needing to discuss sexual media of any kind with another, we should be asking the question; what kind of sexual information were you involved in watching, reading, listening too etc…  Of course it is not the only question that should be asked, but it is a major one.  How would you react to your son, if he found male homosexual pornography on the internet…and liked it?  Or your daughter was into Hentai video’s?  I realize that it is quite hard to stomach this kind of research on your part.  You probably never wanted to to know about it at all!  But the younger generation is one that is linked with an online world, that unless there are laws to limit what is on the world wide web in a major way then you will have to keep up with what your youngsters already know about sex & pornography.  And it could be quite a lot!  Never assume they know, because they might not.  But then again, they could.  At Running Light we are always discussing our culture through our blogs and podcasts.  Listening or reading them now and again will help you stay somewhat current.  Peter and I are always trying to use discretion when discussing pornography.  This is one reason Running Light Ministries is it’s own non-profit ministry.  We desire for these discussions to have a proper place in Church culture, but not necessarily on a Sunday or Wednesday evening Bible Study.  We understand the topic is delicate to the religious culture.

Remember that as technology continues to move forward, and there will no longer be any need for real life women and men to be in the “porn industry!”  That’s right!  There replacements?  A.I., V.R. & Holographic porn.  Has anyone seen the the movie Ex Machina?  Is this movie a picture of our future in A.I. technology?  What a trip if it is!  It really is an eye opener to how people could utilize A.I. technology for there personal desires.  But as of today, video pornography is still the numero uno source.  So until we step into the Brave New World (porn style) we will have to understand, the best we can, that today’s porn comes in many styles & genres.  And it’s free!

As all kinds of porn is allowed and accessible so easily, we should not be very surprised that as a society there would be a normalizing of a behavior and also a equal demonizing of the porn industry out of fear.  I was reading in the book, Big Porn Inc, how sexual predators of minors show porn repeatedly to children in order to make the sexual content seem like normal behavior.  The point is that the minor would go from being disgusted by the porn to, over time, warming up to it, finally seeing it as normal behavior.  Much of the porn sex available is certainly not normal sex in real life.  Forgive me here, but what I mean is that anal sex, or what is called “the money shot,” in porn is not normal in real life is it?  Most of us do not know the sex life of our neighbors and nor do I think we need to know.  But what is good sex anyway?  Or normal sex?

Regardless of what you think of porn, porn sex is done by human beings, so it is a reflection of us.  The seemingly odd sex that is on display in porn is certainly from the hearts of men and women, but that does not mean that it is commonly practiced.  I’m not saying that this odd behavior in porn is not tried in sexual relationships across the globe, but I am thinking it is not highly practiced in week to week sexual life.  The normalizing of such sexual behavior that is in porn will likely make more people say, “hey, maybe we can try that out!?”  This is no doubt true as there are sexual acts that we do today that seem very normal, but years ago, they would be seen as risky or perverted immoral behavior, even in a monogamous marriage!  So we need to be careful not to simply demonize a sex act primarily because it is not normal to us.  Sex acts that a parent finds normal, there teen might find common amongst his/her culture!  So I make the point that we need to be open to discuss what is being watched, admired & desired.

With this kind of understanding I would want to approach a conversation with the word porn in it with intellect and not just emotion.  Without it, there can be some monumental damage that you do to another.  You could demonize there sexual ideas or desires without discussing them.  This is quite a path most taken, but it is certainly shallow and lame do to it’s results.  People will and simply go online to find a person to talk to about intimate subjects if you are not willing to take the leap to discuss porn.  There are millions of online puedo counselors that all have seen Dr. Phil and stayed at a Holiday Inn!  And many of them have a different world view than your Christian one.  I am hoping to prevent you from doing exactly what your Christian values tell you not to do.  “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, & slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God,”  James 1:19.  Does the person you are talking with about pornography born again?  I don’t mean do they attend Church, but are they born again Christian’s as defined in John 3? Why are they wrong in watching porn or liking it?  On what grounds are they wrong? Have you taken the time to talk about there relationship with Christ (if they even have one), before launching into the hurt you have?  I do understand how hurt you might be, and how hurt you are.  So take a breath and let’s trust the Lord in the lives of those we love.

Our desire for our loved ones to know Christ must be valued over our own personal hurts. Is that the goal of your relationships?  Or is there underlying ulterior motive? Secret motives that lay hid away, deep in the heart?  When dominated by them we will succumb to our emotions (rooted mostly in fear and pride), and the conversation will be about us.  We will not be compassionate but angry.  Instead of faith we will react to our fears.  Does this sound familiar to anyone?  Church history is riddled with it, to the point of murdering of one another in the name of Christ.  So we are not alone by far in our struggles to discuss serious topics or ones that are particularly confusing in our culture as porn or sex.  As those in the Church, we must seek to ask Christ to live his life through us if we are to move forward.  To us Christians, Jesus is the only way to move forward.

Why do so many young people finally give up on the Church?  Maybe we are struggling to discuss things in there world.  We simply do not want to.  It is scary to us.  Why is it so difficult for us to talk about sex!  My heart truly breaks for those that do not have a place in the Christian Church to discuss such an elementary topic to us humans.  When I get to the root of answering these questions for myself, I find a fear deeply rooted.  Do you?

It is enjoyable weekly to meet with men to read, pray and talk about these topics together.  There is a special healing in it.  It might be that we are not there primarily to fix one another, but to encourage one another.  Let us encourage one another daily as long as it is called today.

 

 

 

 

 

Helping those in the Church

Posted on by RLAdmin

It is crucial these days to understand the online world the younger generation partially lives in.  Too many in today’s Church culture are not even close to aware of the issues that young people face let alone what they see everyday online.  As the younger generation has gotten older, they become our Youth Pastors and helpers in Church.  And some of them no doubt, female and male, have seem much pornography.  Avoiding this truth is bordering on ridiculous today.  There simply is no excuse for older leaders to be ignorant of the struggles of today’s younger, online, generation.

The older generation should know all to well what happens when sexual issues are simply ignored or kept secret!  I was discussing this with my mom, who is now approximately 70.  Specifically about the sexual abuse of her generation and the secrecy which followed such acts.  Pornography was seen as used mostly by “Dirty older men,” by her generation.  But though there were no free porn back then or the porn industry as we know it today, there were so many young girls that were touched inappropriately.  Way too many.  One is too many!  She was sharing that all of her friends growing up have stories of either rape or molestation in them!   It is so sad that the older generation in our Churches today were told not to discuss it.  And  many girls remained silent and suffered in silence.  The older generation should know the consequences of ignoring sexual issues.

It is certainly time for us to discuss these topics regularly as a part of our normal discussions in our close friendships.  As a administrator at a Church, it is vital that my staff and I discuss these topics in a safe way.  Talking about sex is not something that we should be afraid to discuss in these days of online free hardcore pornography which many young and old stumble on unwantingly.  Keeping silent has implications of the same proportions that we see today in the lives of so many who live in a silent pain inflicted by predators years and years ago.  We can help!

Help by being a person full of grace that is not afraid to discuss these topics.  Porn is sex.  You shouldn’t be freaked out by that.  And as Bible reading people who are well aware that our Bible hero’s are those who slept with the maid, had multiple wives, were a part of the ancient cultures sex trafficking & prostitution, we of all people, should be comfortable discussing sex.  It’s a shame if we cannot… on multiple levels.  But you can be of such an encouragement to a person who might need a person to talk to.   Remember, this younger generation have been guinea pigs in the United States’s free porn experiment!   And who better than a person filled with the Spirit of Christ to help?

God desires us to heal from our past, so that we may help others.  I pray that is what we are able to do more of.  When a person on a Church staff or a member of a church is having difficulty with our lustful culture, having people available to talk with who can empathize would be ideal.  This kind of friendship could prevent a pastor or member from keeping there sin a secret for years and in turn help with all the shame the feel.  This is the heart of Running Light Ministries!  We desire to be those people you can contact to share what is weighing down your heart.  Cultivating a new paradigm in the Church starts with one person who is willing to help another.  In order to do that we will need to do things a bit different from the current Christian climate…But then again, I think Jesus did the same.

 

The Christian Myths on Lust? A response.

Posted on by RLAdmin

Sometimes you read a blog that must be responded to.  Below is a link to a blog on The Christian Myths of Lust.  After the linq below, you can read Peter Martin rebuttal of the article.

http://www.thechristianleftblog.org/tcl-blog/christian-myths-lust

1 Peter 1:22 “Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart.”

Recently I read an article entitled “Christian Myths: Lust” which focuses on Matthew 5:28 and how we are to deal with this passage as Christian men. “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Now there were good things in this article that I would like to mention first. The article does condemn the idea of using the “law” to beat our fleshly sinful nature. There is a thought in the church today that in order to have purity and righteousness with Jesus, we need to focus on the law, meaning a list of things that we can or can’t do in order to gain that righteousness. So in regards to this particular sin of sexual lust, what this mindset would tell me to do in order to deal with this is that I need to force myself to not think about lustful things in my own strength because I know that it is wrong. This mindset is what led Paul to write Romans 7:15 “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.”

In this chapter Paul expresses the pain of struggling with controlling his thoughts and his heart that constantly rebel against God, and this chapter is one that I can most definitely relate to in my own struggles. For years I struggled in the darkness of porn addiction, constantly yearning for freedom, not wanting to lust, not wanting to fantasize about or objectify women, but finding that what I willed to do, I couldn’t do, but that which I hated, I was practicing. This mentality of trying to change myself for the sake of God, led only to more failure, deeper addiction, and mind numbing amounts of guilt while walking in the darkness of un-confession. Understanding the law and trying our hardest will never give us freedom from our sin, at best all we will find is a physical abstinence from sin, but in our hearts we will still be thinking our impure thoughts and lusting after our old life; and Paul makes this abundantly clear in Colossians 2:20 “Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations- do not touch, do not taste, do not handle, which all concern things which perish with using- according to the commandments and doctrines of men? These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.”This is also true of the churches’ attempt to chain lust in the church through rules and regulation. I would also agree with this article, that segregating men and women, sticking to ridiculous dress codes, and constantly fearing affairs between church members is not the way to deal with our flesh.

So while the article does show the failure of our own flesh to set us free, it makes a crucial error in denying the purpose of the law and the power of Christ working in our hearts toward wonderful purity. The primary focus of the article is actually on the idea that, since we can’t fight our lustful desires, we should instead not resist them and eventually that sin will lose it’s negative appeal over us. Unfortunately this logic doesn’t stand up in light of the word of God when it comes to dealing with your flesh, Proverbs 27:20 “Hell and Destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.” The idea that indulging my flesh will make it better simply doesn’t hold water, and it is the same twisted logic that keeps addicts in bondage, always repeating the phrase, “one last time, or one last cigarette, or one last drink… and then I’ll get it out of my system and quit.” Now I do not doubt the sincerity of the author of this article in that him getting rid of the “wrongness appeal” of lust he now doesn’t focus on it as much, but what this hasn’t done is give him a genuine purity of heart. And for someone like me who has been an addict, if I took this mentality I would sink deep into my sin again.

Not to mention the fact that as I read the words that he used about women calling them “sexy”, “hot”, and things like that made me physically cringe because I know my own heart in using words like this. What I learned from growing up in this lustful world that is saturated with porn, is to be selfish toward women and to objectify them and to only enjoy them based on what they could do for me. One argument against the evil of lust that this article uses is that the Greek word for lust that Jesus uses is a word that means to “covet”. I really didn’t understand this argument since I firmly agree with that definition, lust is coveting, or wrongfully and selfishly wanting something that isn’t yours for your own use, after all, love doesn’t seek it’s own, while lust can only seek it’s own. And this is the exact mentality that I lived in for so many years, seeing everyone lustfully, always seeking my own in all my relationships. In all the years I spent lusting after the beauty of women, I never once thought about honoring them, serving them, or bettering them in any way. Even the nice things that I did were only an extension of my own selfishness and desiring a particular response or return of favor from those I was serving. I simply knew that it felt good for me to objectify women and to fantasize about them, I was completely self seeking, not at all like the selfless love that Jesus demonstrates to us. He then also makes the point that it isn’t wrong because God created women beautiful and he is simply admiring this beauty and admiring their intelligence that God gave them as he sees these women and talks to them. Not one porn addict would tell you that he doesn’t see beauty in these women, and even atheists can enjoy the beauty of a woman and enjoy her intelligence in a conversation, but their admiration is manifested in lust and doesn’t bring one ounce of glory to God.

I believe that God did create women to be beautiful, and I would agree with him that the church trying to ignore this beauty or cover it up has led to more harm than good. But there is a balance, like in all things, and that balance is found in Romans 1:24 “Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.” God’s creation is truly beautiful, but notice the mistake that these people fell into, they saw the beauty of the creation and stopped there and worshiped the creation, instead of seeing this beauty as a sign pointing to a far more beautiful Creator. And understanding the beauty of the creation in a God glorifying way is the path to purity that we as Christians should be on. But this still leaves us with a problem, how do we gain this new purity if not through the law or indulging our flesh?

1 Corinthians 12:31 “And yet I show you a more excellent way….”

This verse is the end of chapter 12 of 1 Corinthians and leads us right into chapter 13 which is all about God’s perfect love. We as Christians need to understand, that there is nothing wrong with the law, Jesus’ statement about lust wasn’t meant to just be ignored, but at the same time it was never intended for us to try to fulfill in our flesh. The purpose of the law is to convict us of sin, in order to show us our own inability to make it to God in our own strength. So in the beginning of the article when the author expresses his frustration with Matthew 5:28 because he had these uncontrollable desires to lust but then was told not to, was actually the intention of this law. Galatians 3:24 “Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith.” If we look to the law to set us free than we missed the point, the law shows us all as sinners, and that is what makes Jesus so beautiful to a sinner like me. Jesus fulfilled the law, was tempted in all ways and yet without sin, laid down His perfect life on a cross, and has set me free from the condemnation that the law brings. Now that I am justified by grace, and am now a child of God, by His grace alone, I have freedom from guilt and shame, and I also have the ability to gain freedom by the power of the Holy Spirit working in me. Colossians 1:27 “To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory,” My hope as a Christian rests only in the work of Christ in me alone, to do in me what I could never do in myself. Freedom in the Christian life doesn’t happen by saying “I think I can” but instead in knowing that we can’t, but Jesus always can. This is how we can glorify God even in our weakness, freedom from sin comes through humility and surrender, not in strength and willpower.

I am so unbelievably thankful for the purity that God has been giving me these past couple years, daily renewing my mind from all of the garbage that I put in it over the years, and daily training me in how to love out of a pure heart as opposed to lusting out of a corrupt heart. And all praise, honor, and glory goes to Him alone who broke my chains and set me free; you see my freedom didn’t come by me valiantly going out and slaying my flesh, but it came by Jesus washing my feet, and so for that all I can do is honor Him. Now, God is showing me how to love women out of a pure heart, no longer looking at every girl and fantasizing about her, or being nice to girls while secretly thinking about how I could be in a relationship with them if I wanted to. But now I truly see the unbelievable value that my Father has placed on each and every one of them, and I no longer yearn to objectify them with my eyes, but to honor them in purity. But this is a product of God’s perfect love working its way through me, not in me somehow mastering my thoughts. I also want to emphasize though, I don’t always see girls in this purity, I still do daily fight with my flesh in this way. On the days that I can see girls in purity, I don’t let my eyes linger in order to respect these girls and I thank God for the purity that He is giving me; but I certainly don’t fantasize about them and call that respect. And on the days where it is harder for me to not lust, I tend to avert my eyes and I keep in prayer with Jesus taking these thoughts captive unto Him and thanking Him that He enables me to do that. And every day I fight, I know that more and more of my flesh is dying, and the closer I get to Jesus, the more I enjoy Him alone, and the more I see I need to grow, I am certainly not perfect but my joy is in pursuing Christ, Philippians 3:12 “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.” I haven’t attained yet, but I will daily press on toward my prize and treasure in Christ, daily seeing how much greater His perfect love is, and how much more joy comes from serving rather than being served. Oh how I pray we would be brothers and sisters in Christ who desire to love one another fervently and with a pure heart, not abstaining out of fear of the law or giving into our lustful natures and saying that we are honoring God, God’s way is so much more beautiful and pleasurable.

Psalm 36:8 “They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures.”

Porn Addiction and the Brain

Posted on by RLAdmin

 

By Beau Ouellette
Thoughts from an article from Dr. Lasha Darkmoon
Note: read the article on the link first.  (But you’ll get it when you read below)
Critique:
If the behavior of porn addiction and habitual self gratification is a function of brain damage, then who is to fault the person from doing it? The behavior is simply due to brain mis-function; Biology over behavior.
There had to be a time when the brain was not damaged as the person starting viewing porn. Yet lust reigned. Lust is the problem, not the brain damage. Or the brain damage is a result of lust not the other way around.
It seems that frontal lobe damage, caused by long-term porn addiction and the compulsive masturbation that accompanies it, will give rise to a constellation of behaviors called “frontal lobe syndrome”. These include four main behavior patterns:  (1) Impulsive behavior with little regard to consequences. (2) Compulsive behavior, often leading to total loss of control. (3) Emotionally labile behavior, i.e., sudden and unpredictable mood swings. (4) Impaired judgment, leading to disastrous decision making.
How about addiction to TV or gaming and what that does to the brain. How about people’s arousal over books? So is book arousal ok for the brain?
To me the issue of the brain has little to do to shed light on breaking free from bondage to lust or even helping those understand what is happening in their lives. All of our brains have to be pretty messed up. We lust bad food, which affects the brain and body, we lust money which effects our moods and stress levels, we lust sex which from this article above is telling us how it affects the brain. Some people chose to lust sports, cars, houses, power, reputation, which must also effect the brain according to this view point. Obviously some distortions of the brain we deem ok and others not so.
When does brain function constitute bad behavior? We can have a rush of dopamine when we work out, so is that ok. When does this get deemed as bad? Or how about when I have sex with my wife? When is too much sexual stimulus with her bad for the brain? At what point does too much dopimine become harmful. Should we all be regulated daily to see what is too much or too little?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopamine
It seems the focus is on the consequences and not on the culprit.
The process of masturbatory conditioning is inexorable and does not spontaneously remiss. The course of this illness may be slow and is nearly always hidden from view. It is usually a secret part of the man’s life, and like a cancer, it keeps growing and spreading. It rarely ever reverses itself, and it is also very difficult to treat and heal. (See here)
It is sad to read this.
First of all this article always talks about men. Women self gratify all the time. Sex toys are bought regularly by women all over the world. China exports and sells 24 billion in adult material a year (Some of that sex toys)! China also is a country that bans pornography. (This shows that they are exporting other things than porn vids.) Are women’s brains damaged too? How have so many million women’s brains been changed through self gratification? Maybe we all have damaged brains? Yes I’m being a bit sarcastic here.
If all men and women enjoy self gratification, (with or without another body present) and in turn our brains are jacked because of it, then it would reason both genders need healing. From what though?
If lust is the cause, then how do you fix someone of lusting?
If you try and fix the brain damage through drug therapy, then you only cover the symptom. Nothing will change.
Lust is a product of the fall of man. Sin’s desire is for us, to rule over us!
If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:7
Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.
From Jesus perspective, we are all brain damaged! Sin, (lust is a work of sin) is the cancer that has spread in us! The body is a fallen body, one that is damaged through the result of sin. There are many area’s of the body’s biological functions that are a mis due to sins work in it. We hate, kill, steal, envy, are jealous, cheat and all these actions run through the brain. Do we take pills for hating? Killing? Stealing? Being envious of others? Etc…
Back to the article – One of my patients was so deeply addicted that he could not stay away from pornography for 90 days, even for $1,000. It is difficult for non-addicts to comprehend the totally driven nature of a sex addict. When the “wave” hits them, nothing can stand in the way of getting what they want—whether that be pornography accompanied by masturbation, sex from a prostitute, molesting a child, or raping a woman.
An example might help illustrate this problem. Ralph was a sexual addict, married 12 years with three children. He was active in his church and held sincere, high moral principles. He believed in the Ten Commandments and opposed adultery. Yet his particular cycle involved pornography use, followed by paid sex with prostitutes. After each incident, he begged God for forgiveness and swore that it would never happen again. But it did, again and again.
Since the trigger of each adulterous act was pornography-use, we decided to try to free him from his dependence on this material. I asked him to write me a check for $1,000, indicating that I would return it if he went 90 days without using pornography. Ralph loved to hang on to his money and was quite attracted to our strategy. “There’s no way I’d look at dirty videos or magazines if I knew it would cost me a thousand dollars!” he said.
He managed to resist temptation remarkably well for a while. But on the 87th day, he drove past an “adult” bookstore in an unfamiliar city while on a business trip. He slammed on the brakes, entered the store, and went virtually berserk for 90 minutes. When I saw him the following week, he tearfully confessed that he had lost his $1,000. Since he had gone 87 days “sober,” I decided to give him another chance.
So we started another 90-day “sobriety” cycle. We both felt that if he could go 87 days, he could certainly make 90 if we tried again, especially if it meant recovering his $1,000.
This time he went only 14 days before he relapsed. He lost his money, which was given to a charity. He was extremely committed to quit in order to save his marriage and to live in harmony with his religious principles. But that was not the case. In my opinion, even if he had given me $10,000, he still would have relapsed. When the wave hits them, these men are consumed by their appetite, regardless of the costs or consequences. Their addiction virtually rules their lives.  (Seehere)
Pornography can be a source for lust to grow, but it is not the culprit either.
Books like the Song of Solomon were on the chopping block at times in history for being to erotic.  But the real issue was not the Song of Solomon, it was the lust which was in the person who read it. If lust is not dealt with then lust will find a way, it always does. You can remove all the pornography in the world, yet people will still self – gratify by themselves, or with another body or an animal. So people in history are brain damaged as well, as these practices have been around since the fall. Something needs to happen to change the human heart from a continual lustful behavior.
If the Son set’s you free you are free indeed.” John 8:36
The real way to help people overcome brain damage is not through the body, but through the Spirit! Jesus taught this in John 3 where he said, unless you be born again you cannot see the Kingdom of God. The change that Jesus pointed to was to become spiritually made new and alive!
The Spirit of God is the only way to overcome a fallen body. Romans 7 and 8 so greatly speak on this doctrine.
God is all powerful and His Spirit is able to change behavior of a body that biologically is failing. But most importantly God’s Spirit is able to conquer the culprit; Lust.
Conclusion:
Too much focus is on the effects of the brain (Mark Dricol’s book plus many more)
There is a focus on sexual issues with the brain of men, and not women (not consistent science or social science)
These behaviors that have caused the supposed damage to the brain have been around forever. So we can’t blame the modern pornography industry, though we do it so well!
Understanding my brain will not get me free from the real problem.
The real issue is that I am a fallen, sinful human being.
We need to be made new to have any change to conquer the culprit
Altering lust from sex to power, reputation, beauty, gaming, or TV, radio & readinga will still mean the rule of lust. There is only one true solution. A power to overcome the culprit which is lust.