Sex Addiction?

As we have been inundated with the news panels on the latest adultery scandal with actress Dandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James (News heading below)

“Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James is seeking unspecified in-patient treatment after being caught in a media storm amid reports he had multiple mistresses.”

The debate about sex addiction becomes absolutely boring and a bit foolish.  Is it really a addiction?  Are men just using that as a excuses to not face the consequences of there actions?

The therapy people of the world just love this!  What becomes so frustrating for me in watching this is that the perspectives taken do not get to the root issue of the problems in the peoples lives.  Tiger Woods and his wife had great goals when married, with great thoughts and feelings towards one another no doubt.  They are not stupid people who got married in Vegas after knowing each other for a day or two, but people who dated and thought through there life as husband and wife.  But why then does this not last or prevent adultery?  Because all the right goals and pursuits in this world, no matter how noble or praise worthy is not the glue that holds marriage together in wholeness or better yet…holiness.  Now the world thinks so.  Therapy from the worlds perspective just says you need to be more compatible (hence e-harmony, preached on the Michael Nedveed show), have common goals, spiritually, financially etc… and your good to go.   But as statistics bear out in the church and out of it, that is not the case.

The reason guys or girls (no one mention them, though these guys are having sex with them), engage in sex outside of marriage is simply because they are not satisfied.  Not sexually by there wives, but because they have a porn view of sex, and of life.  They like the women at the well in John chapter 4 went from one pleasure to another because they did not know the one who could give them satisfaction and complete pleasure.  The fact is that no person on the earth can satisfy you!!!  Did you hear that… I don’t care how much alike you are, you will never, ever, ever be complete in another other than your creator.  Only He can give you what you need and the proper view of love which shows itself in the bedroom to the way you relate to enemies.  You are complete in HIM (Christ, Colossians 2:10).  The reason no one on earth can satisfy you is because they are the walking dead, mortal, & sinful.  Discribing people that way helps us understand that we cannot be filled with peace and complete pleasure by this kind of entity.  We need a eternall love and pleasure that brings lasting peace, not bondge.  The pleasure of this world (i.e. sex) does not last, hence the need for Tiger or Jesse James to seek this false pleasure again and again.

Tiger and Jesse are products of a porn way of looking at sex as a way to be pleased (satisfied).  Solomon, King David and many other Biblical guys have fallen into the same pursuit, yet for them it was accepted in the culture.  They were rich, as Tiger and Jessee James and with that financial status comes the opportunity to pursue a King’s pleasures, though they will not satisfy.

Is it a addiction, sure if you define addiction as a habitual behavior that leads to destruction of family, friends and yourself.  Do these guys say this to get out of the responsibility of it?  Time will tell of the intents of the heart, but the only reason it’s considered bad in the culture is because of the way we currently view women (not as property as in the past) and a Christian (though it’s fading) view of marriage, one man and women for life…(this to is passing away in our culture)

Let’s look at things from a Biblical point of view and not a psychological/therapy view.  “In God’s light we see light (clearly)” Psalm 36:9

For more on this subject please check out my book, Porn & A Pastor at