Have you ever heard someone use the term, “Spicing things up?” This term is usally linked with our intamacy with our spouce, correct? There are books written on the subject, christian books by Christian councilors that discuss this subject in detail in attempts to have a couple that is struggling with there intamacy for one another find a new spark of passion for each other.
I’ve had many people approach me over the years, especially ladies who try this sort of tequnique, but is this really a God glorifying approach to the passion between me and my wife? I find that the world uses this tool as well. Talk shows are littered with this kind of approach to healing a non passionate marriage. But should we in the church use the same tool. If what I understand as spicing things up means for my wife to dress in fanasy clothing like a porn star than I am strongly against it. Im not sure if I see much difference between wathcing porn and self gratifying than having my wife dress up as a porn star and again I self gratify, but this time its with a body! The same thing is happening in the brain. Lust, not love.
If I am moved deeply in my heart by the God of Creation, who is Love, the most passioate of all, then being passionate for my wife will come from a motivation from the passionate relationship of love that is rooted in God. God does not run out of love or passion, and neither will I for my wife, as the souce of our passion is not porn lust, but the eternal pleasurable God!
So that makes me wonder…why do you need to “spice things up?” Maybe that is a sure sign of not knowing God as we should? If we knew who it was, then we would ask! (John 4) Knowing God keeps us away from the porn pleasure of this World. (1st Thess 4)
But what I find really sad is so many women are so passionate for their husbands yet because of their husbands trading the infinite well of the Pleasure of God (Psalm 36:8) for the porn pleasure of the World, the ladies find they are not satisfying to their husbands as they once were. May I share something with you ladies, “IT”S NOT YOU THAT IS THE PROBLEM!” You don’t need to dress differently, plan a vacation to a exotic place, or practive voyeurism. Simply put you would only be buying in to the empty solutions of this world. If you strive to gain in this way you will strive to maintain as well. And that is no fun. The answer is always knowing the pleasure and goodness of God. This is where our passion comes from, our love, our joy!
As often, the church tends to follow what the world thinks is the right path towards happiness, when it is dead, a zombie. I have found my own heart moved in this way too, I confess.
I have had 18 years with my wife. Beautiful years. I love her deeply, profoundly. She is my covenant partner. I pray she never thinks we need to, “spice it up.” Our passion for one another is no different than it has ever been. God is our passion. And from the well we will always be satisfied and will never run out. Our cup runs over! But catch this, it’s because we love God and desire to know this passionate love of God more in our own individual life! The bedroom will only be as passionate as our love for Christ is! As we grow in love with the Lord we want to do fun stuff together where we can be alone and focused on each other. This is our joy in Christ.
So ask the Lord to give you a passionate love relationship with Him. Feel Him, adore and find your affections in Him. Ask the Lord to be glorified in you intimacy with your spouse to help you glorify Him and show the Passion He has for you to your spouse. “Lord may your passion work through me, to your glory.”