What’s In a Webpage Statement?

What does it mean to Advocate for Faith Hope and Love in Sex, Sexuality & Sensuality as our webpage states?

It is a question that I have wanted to answer for a time now, but now just getting around to it.  As the founder of RLM I have given it thought how the three; faith, hope and love, should support our decisions regarding sex, sexuality and sensuality.  But first let me discuss the later three just for a moment.

I believe that sex, sexuality and sensuality are all different yet very relatable to one another.  We do think that the three working together, in consort with one another, is much better than when one is singled out at the expense of the others.  We could have sex without sensuality, yet Im not sure that would be a very fun & healthy experience. It might look more like a prostitute kind of relationship.  You might not care much about their sensuality, or even there sexuality for that matter. The buyer simply wants to get off.  He is not interested in the catch or the life of the ‘other.’ But when the three are in unity with faith, hope & love we believe we have the best potential of lasting joy in the sexual experience.  This is our opinion.

But how would we know if sex, sexuality and sensuality were being expressed in right ways?  What a good question! Which brings us to finding a standard to measure these three against.  What we have found is when Biblical faith, hope and love become that standard which the other three are influenced by, then we get further to the intent of God for sex, sexuality and sensuality, and closer to glorifying God in them, which is our passion.  To be perfect in sex, sexuality and sensuality would be awesome to us. Yet we feel that we have not done so well. Though we understand we are not alone. Just because we know that we will never be able to hit a home run ever time we are up to bat does not mean we do not learn and practice to get closer to such a high goal!  Faith, Hope and Love become our teachers in such an education.

Let me try and begin by defining these words:

  • When we refer to sex, we are referring to sexual activity.
  • As human beings we have the capacity of sexual feeling and preferences.  This is what we are calling sexualtiy.
  • Sensuality can be defined as the enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure

These are well enough definitions I think.  Sure we could dink around with them a bit here and there, but for my purposes, they work, and all of us believe there included in the Biblical narrative as seen in the lives of men & women.

The Bible was written over 1500 years by many authors, yet it is said in the New Testament book of Peter, that it actually was the Holy Spirit that moved upon the writers.  I find this kind of cool due to the inclusion of these three in it’s pages. Having these three included in the Bible reiterates what I already understand in life. That is these three are a part of the human condition of being.  As humans we have sex. As humans we have feelings and desires regarding sex. And as humans we can pursue the joy of sexual pleasure in our lives. Wouldn’t it be odd if you had a Holy book that did not include such normal observed behavior in the world?  Ours does!

When I was younger, I did not look at the three in light of such words as Faith, Hope and Love.  These three never actually related much to the other three. Where would I have learned about faith in sex?  What is faith in sex? What is faith? Or how does Biblical hope in Christ’s return to earth affect my sexual feelings and preferences?  I never thought that a BIblical definition of love could govern my pursuit of sexual pleasure. In short, I was completely secular. And this is what our statement is striving against at it’s basic level.

The inclusion of Faith, Hope & Love in Sex, Sexuality & Sensuality is our aim here.  And this leads us to search our sacred texts for answers regarding such things. Having a safe place to do so within the Church culture is what we are offering.  

We also recognize that within the Church environment there has been a plethora of strong opinions regarding sex, sexuality and sensuality.  Some of these views have lead to heinous acts in the name of God. We do not recognize these acts as being in faith, hope and love. Within our current culture we find having a place to discuss, study & pray about the topics of sex, sexuality and sensuality, in a familiar Bible study format can be very intellectually satisfying.  This is why we use the term advocating. It means to publicly support. And our hope is to support those that desire to pursue that standard which is ultimately God. Quite an endeavor for sure!

 

 

Training in lust

“Having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls.  They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children.” 2nd Peter 2:14

I would like to take the time to say something here that I think is quiite importanat to point out for us from the writting of Peter.

These false teachers had:

Eyes full of adultery – they didn;t have porn movies or internet porn per say, but they consistantly put themselves in places of sexual stimulation.  We have TV & Interenet that do just fine in supplying us all the fullness of adultery behavior.  How many times do you think you have seen Adultery being committed in your life?  This is crazy to think about, but I would guess that most of us living in this 21st century have seen the ‘act’ of adultery hundreds of times in movies before.   It is no longer marginal, but common.  What are you and I viewing?  Has it changed the way we think about the subject?  When I used to watch porn, I would think, “hey this really is not that bad.  It’s making be a better lover to my wife.”  Oh, what justificaiton for viewing adultery over and over and refusing to believe there is a consequence in it.

They Cannot cease from sin – Here is the problem of viewing sexually stimulating ‘acts.’  It is addictive.  We will soon be in bondage to the behavior.  It’s not that we will not cease, but we “cannot” cease. (akatapaustos – unable to stop, unceasing) 

Continued viewing brings us to consistent behaving, leading to bondage.  We now think adultery behavior is the way things were designed, we have seen so much of it.  My culture bears this out completely.  Growing up I saw behaviors over and over and assumed that was the way things were done.  I had to re-learn what I had seen for years and years.  The brain is a magnificant sensory organ in the body, capturing images and storing them in our hard drive, over and over this happens.  We tend to emulate those we see on the screen.  But the end of this is destruction.  This behavior really was not what we were created for, but a ploy of the Matrix so to speak, to keep us in our so called happy blindness.

Enticing unstable souls – This is where it gets bad.  What is porn there to do anyway.  Make money?  Only one way to do that, and that’s to entice. To entice means to arouse desire.  That sounds like porn to me.  Not only porn, but those that are ‘in the church’ that continue in sin with no heart for confession to the glory of God and their own joy.  I’m talking specifically about chuch leadership that has gone this direction as to not offend anyone, but has gone the total opposite way, enticing those to continue in a world of sin by not willing to confess their own adultery themselves!  I know, you say that sounds hard core.  But how many Pastors are caught in sexual sin?  Heterosexual sin?  Homosexual sin?  Whatever the case, we will continue to entice unstable souls until we are ourselves no longer being enticed ourselves by the culture.  Oh, I have a long way to go.

Trained in covetous practices – When learning guitar, I practiced.  I did not practice once a week, but for hours a day.  Now picking up a guitar and playing something takes no thought at all.  It comes easy and naturally.  How great is that?  But what if it’s adultery, lust, sexual immorality?  Don’t you think this too becomes natural to us who have been practitioners of this?  We cannot just think the input in the brain has not changed the way we export behavior.  Something is training you and I!  What is that?  We get so used to mediocrity in porn that we cannot see the beauty in our own spouses or a precious older couple that has weathered the storms of life for 65 years.  Oh, we have compromised through a deception, our hearts have become hard.  It’s like those that listen to American Idol singers never realizing the greatness of the Hillard Ensemble of works of Puccini.

We need re-training.

Kill your TV!  haha – I remember that bumper sticker.  Maybe there is a inner crucifying that we need to do within the church to find something far greater, or rather someone!

Jesus is beautiful…precious is He…1st Peter 2:7Image