Intellectual Passion!

For couples

Sex can be all passion or all duty. Both are dangerous. What happens when a human seeks only passionate pleasure in sex? Porn? Like animals, we enjoy the pleasure we can get from sex. But could this go to far? What if all we did was have sex with people? What if that was our primary motivation?

Before we get off answering questions, let’s consider the blessings of passionate pleasure! Yes, it’s a blessing. In general, I found it awesome that our more modest part of the body can be enjoyable. If it would not so, we might not really value the construction of such a part. To use it to go to the bathroom seems pretty dutiful and not very passionate. Unless you really have to go! Then you are thankful, but still not very passionate about the part. But having an area of the body that is so sensitive to touch is really quite extraordinary. Remarkable really. And most likely is why we continue procreating. There is nothing quite like passionate sex! The God of the Bible is said to be passionate. He has a passionate love for His people. There are so many Bible passages to quote, but the overall theme of the Bible is God’s passionate pursuing of a people. So, we should expect the pinnacle of God’s creation to be able to have passion as well. Some more than others no doubt.

When Eve was fashioned from Adam, Adam looked at her and said, “This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh…” He was excited to say the least. The first command of the Bible is to be fruitful and multiply. Bestiality was not the way to go, Eve was fashioned, and they together were able to fulfill the command given. I am grateful that we can find great joy in following God’s commands. There is a passionate pleasure in them, a goodness, an excitement! Our sex lives should reflect the excitement.  God also is a passionate God within His own nature. Father, Son and Holy Spirit! “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased!” The Father has great pleasure in the Son, and the Son has such a passion to obey the Father. It’s very awesome to read the Gospel accounts and see this kind of relationship with God. Our sex lives should also reflect this kind of unified passion that we see between the Godhead, Father, Son and Holy Spirit!

You might be thinking that passionate sex had nothing to do with God. Your wrong. To remove the deity from the discussion moves us into mere animalism. Yet we are quite capable of so much more! We can not only have passion, but we can think about what sex means through our intellect. This really is remarkable and brings great balance to our sex lives. Understanding and studying theology can bring great depth to our attitude towards sex. We understand through our study of theology that God is a complex unity within the Godhead. That within this Godhead there are three distinct persons. Each person together makes up the one God. There are not three gods but one, of a unity. God creates this unity in humans and they are to bear the image of the complex unity of the Godhead by being joined together sexually. This physical union creates a family. This family is a complex unity composed of males and females. The Godheads diversity is seen in the diversity in the family. The family lives under one home, not many homes, but one.

I think you get the idea. Theology gives us an insight into the ‘why,’ of sex relations. Without theology, we simply make up our own reasons as to why we are doing sexual relations the way we are doing them. And each individual on the planet can have their own ideas and takes on that! Theology unifies humans under an objective truth regarding the ‘why.’ I for one am grateful the Christian doctrine on God is a passionate one! I am equally glad that it is a deeply intellectual too.

Sex without passion is simply dutiful and can be an utter drag. Sex with just passion can be dangerous in its selfish ambition. Both extremes are not biblical, but having both will bring maturity. This is the Biblical way.

Gender ideology and its ramifications

On August 12th Peter and I took some time to give our commentary on two videos about Gender. One was done by Laci Green the other by the DarkHorse podcast with Bret Weinstein & Heather Heying. Have you ever been confused on the subject? What is gender and how many genders are there? How does gender different from sex? And how many sexes are there? The questions can go on and on.

On this 117th podcast we found our conversation quite stimulating! C.S. Lewis came to mind (The Abolision of Man).

“A great many of those who “debunk” traditional or (as they would say) “sentimental” values have in the background values of their own which they believe to be immune from the debunking process”
― C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

“When all that says ‘it is good’ has been debunked, what says ‘I want’ remains. (…) The Conditioners, therefore, must come to be motivated simply by their own pleasure. (…) My point is that those who stand outside all judgements of value cannot have any ground for preferring one of their own impulses to another except the emotional strength of that impulse. (…) I am very doubtful myself whether the benevolent impulses, stripped of that preference and encouragement which the Tao teaches us to give them and left to their merely natural strength and frequency as psychological events, will have much influence. I am very doubtful whether history shows us one example of a man who, having stepped outside traditional morality and attained power, has used that power benevolently.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

The DarkHorse podcast video brought about some real interesting ideas as to the potential ramifications in medical education and the military if we continue down the current path. While Laci showed us what the American Psychological Associations current definition of gender is. The question is…will it change again? And is it a definition based on facts or opinion? And if what is true about gender is based on person identity, then how do you define it? There are allot of identities on the planet. (Almost 8 billion and growing!)

But what does this all mean for us who are Christians? Glad you asked! Peter and I get into an interesting side of the Gender issue and it’s consequences on legislative government and the science community. We ended up looking at Apocalyptical prophecies in the Bible the discuss a one world order with a intellectual leader who will perhaps be not be into marriage!

Daniel 11:37, which says that Antichrist will “Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all”, will the Antichrist be androgynous?

Of course it is purely theoretical, but interesting non the less!

The Bible stresses the idea of procreation being one of the first commands given to humans. Why is this important? What is the consequences of not valuing procreation?

Is the cuurent gender ideology in education moving us directly into what the Bible says about the last days?

Check it out!

'Try Before You Buy?' (Think again!) Reaching College Students

ImageI ain’t no Bonobo
Do you know what the Bonobo monkey is known for?
Its crazy sex habits!
Have you ever thought that maybe those that try and teach you about sex think that you are no different than a Bonobo; having sex is simply an instinctual desire- as food is to the stomach, sex is to the crotch!
Atheist Aldous Huxley said, “We objected to morality because it interfered with our sexual freedom.” 
I grew up in Southern California where we were taught that was exactly the way it was.  We came from monkeys, and like ‘em, sex is what we do!  And that’s what we did.
I never thought it was wrong and certainly never thought there would be consequences to such education.
We live in a day where sexual stimulation is everywhere.  Better sex, bigger boobs, bigger junk in the trunk. We are fascinated with the pursuit of personal pleasure.  Self-gratification is what my generation is all about.  Sex is about my body, my desire, what I want to experience.  No-one can tell me how to use my body, it’s mine…me, mine, I…
What happens when we live for selfish purposes?  How many marriages fail today?  How many relationships fail today?
It is true that the more sexual partners you have the greater the risk is of not only disease, but future relationship disease!  What I mean is the more sexual encounters I had, the more I sought my own self-gratification in those encounters, which in turn lead to an inability to be in a long-term relationship. The reason?
When viewers of porn are imitating it, Porn mogul, Al Goldstein said people are imitating “the worst possible kind of sex”.
The paradigm that I am picturing is the one of lust as opposed to Love.  As long as I sought self-gratification in my relationships failure was just ahead.  Lust cannot last, because it is unable to satisfy the human heart.
I struggle with porn.  I used to struggle a ton!  The porn industry is interesting; it seeks to cash in on customer dissatisfaction!  Yep, when we view porn we go from one image to another, to another and so on, it sucks. You can never get satisfied.  Lust is unable to satisfy. And those that walk down this road are not having sex with the people they are in the sack with; they’re simply self-gratifying with your body as the tool instead of there own hand!
Those in the Porn industry understand this themselves.  When reading “The Hardest Man in Showbiz,” by the porn star Ron Jeremy, you get the idea that he is sad because he has forfeited something that he longs for due to his self-lifestyle.  That something is Love.  He has wanted to be in relationship with only one person throughout his life. But because lust becomes an uncontrollable behavior with no room for selfless acts, he has been bound to the thing which he knows causes him to not have what he so wants.  That does not sound good.
I actually understand that.  So many of us want to have a killer life with someone, but unfortunately we will never have that because of what we do in the here and now.  The more sex you have, the more you will compare your future husband or wife with.  Sex is no longer special at all, but we have made it common.  And when you get to meet the person you think you want to spend the rest of your life with, he will have had 15 partners already and you too!   That sucks!  You’ll be so used to a life of self-gratification that understanding the best part of sex, which is being selfless and giving, will not be in the cards.
“The orgasm has become today’s secular sacrament.”  – Dinesh D’Souza
You might think you’re different than the billions of people that have lived before, that crappy for-self sex will not have its consequences in your life.  But please don’t believe the illusion of the Matrix.  I hope to unplug you!
The Jewish Scriptures are filled with guys and girls that have tried and tried to be the most sexually selfish people ever.  King Solomon, of all people, was a sex maniac and his life was jacked!  King David as well, and his family went to pot!  Abraham had sex with the maid, Judah slept with his deceased son’s wife thinking it was a prostitute because he was horny. Lot drank too much and had sex with his daughters!  Come to think of it, I think all porn is a parody to the Bible, in a way.
Through the paradigm of scripture I understand now that God is real. And He created me and made sex as a way to know Him, and His love for you and me.  I love it that the Bible paints the picture that many of the so called ‘saints’ who have trusted God failed miserably, constantly looking at sex through the wrong lens.
And that includes me too!
When I read the Bible I was 17.  I started in Genesis and being raised an agnostic I was blown away by the idea that God made this union called sex and it was already talked about in the second chapter of the Bible!!!  The greatest impact on my intellect was the idea that maybe sex is to be special. Maybe I am not a Bonobo after all.  Maybe one man and one woman for life was really the Better Pleasure. Maybe I had been wrong.
Today I have been married 20 years!  I have learned many killer sex lessons in my life.  But the greatest is that in my marriage, sexual arousal today is not from selfish lusting, but from Love.  The arousal I’m talking about is that which comes from giving joy to my beloved.  She is mine!  I am hers!  My body is hers, and her body is mine.  Arousal is not from lusting her, but from giving of myself to her (Love).  That is much different from the idea of, “How can I have better sex?”
Better sex happens when you exalt sex to what it was meant to be, something sacred, special and beautiful, where Love lives and not lust.
The old way of thinking about sex does not work.  You are not a Bonobo and that is why it will not work with you either.
One day you and I will be old, and on that day your self-gratification, self-lusting, self-sexuality will not matter.  We will only desire at that time to see Love.  Love’s roots can only go deep in the soil when you see it as special, sacred and Beautiful.  For love is not common… lust is.
You were created not to be common, but to be special.  I learned that…finally.
Try reading the Bible and learn from its view on sex.  It changed my life.  And it would be awesome one day to see you in a killer marriage of 20 years, where it is special and not the ‘norm!’  Be uncommon. Pursue Love not lust.

Sex, to the glory of God

What a title! I hope I have your attention now. We live in a sad time where we don’t equate the two right? Sex, the glory of God…what do they have in common? I was speaking the other day at the university and before the service we sent out teams to get the students to come in and attend the talk I was giving on better pleasure. One of the leaders who went out encountered a girl and ask her if she would be interested in listening to a talk on porn and the bible. The girl looked at the leader with a blank stare and began trying to figure out in her overwhelmed brain now the two go together. That is kind of how it is with sex and the glory of God. Oh they go together…or they should.

Now I can tell you a quick way to start your marriage of in a jacked way; do not pay attention.

This is important.

If you and your future spouse do not see the pursuit of Christ in the most intimate of places…the bed room…then you will have some potential problematic issues for sure.

All things are to be done for the glory of God. Even sex.

What would it be like if you don’t see sex as a way to glorify God? It would become a secular experience alone. That’s porn and porn is duty…they get paid!

What makes sex a God glorifying experience? Wouldn’t it simply be what makes eating food sacred act as well…or anything else for that matter. When we live our lives with a heart of thanksgiving to The Lord and prayer we see from rabbi Paul that it is a God glorifying act. See Tim ch. 4

When sex becomes a God glorifying act it is done with the same attitude. Thankful hearts come to the marriage bed! Hearts that want to seek the joy of Christ in the act of sex. If this is foreign concept to you, I apologize..we pastors need to teach the entire bible which is all about a real, intimate relationship between God and His people. See Ezk 16, but really, the whole bible is about this oneness. See John 17 too!

See Christ exalting sex is all About what you bring into the bed, When a man or woman say watches pornography and then enters the bed they import those images to find arousal. That is lust, not love, no matter what body is in the bed with you. That cannot glorify God even if its with your wife. Why? Lust seeks its own, love does not. Love pursues the joy of the beloved while lust
knows not such things but is satisfied only in self. For God to be glorified he must be the focus, and God does not lust the world, he loves it Sex should reflect that, everything else is a lesser joy,a distortion.

Christ glorifying sex is the best, because God is the greatest pleasure! If pursuing Jesus in your heart when in the marriage bed then you a going after the better pleasure. Come drink from the river of Gods pleasure. Taste and see that he is good. At His right hand are pleasures forever more.

Why would we remove God from the marriage bed? Maybe it’s been the way your were brought up. Maybe affection was not showed or modeled to you as a child or teen. Giving yourself to someone is a big deal, there is no abuse like sexual abase, so lets exalt it! But if we don’t seek to glorify our Lord in it, then it is just porn, common is that way, a path most taken.

Sex can be scary for newly weds. Pray, be thankful for the gift you are to one another. Ask The Lord to give you a heart for His glory and you won’t go wrong. Love and not lust will rule. For we are one with Him in Spirit it says, so you are acting out a sermon on your marriage bed…Christ and the Church, becoming one…a prophetic dance it is! What joy for those called to marriage. Enjoy!